Nobody makes me bleed my own blood, nobody!

Recently, one of my favorite fellow film critics closed his channel down. Chris Stuckmann was a fine addition to the online film critics family. He knew his stuff, he was interesting to watch and most importantly he was honest. It was easy to relate with the guy due to his great personality. Many others saw him as likeable as I did because he skyrocketed to fame on You Tube.So I was sad when he made the video announcing he had to close his channel down. I listened carefully to what Chris had to say and I understood his predicament, more than most people would.

See, when I first started this online criticism thing, I made a channel called Ruben's Reviews. It was a simple little channel filled with poor graphics, shoddy audio and an opinion, that's all I needed. I feel what made my channel so different was how much attention I gave to topics that many wouldn't even consider. Some call it bitching, I say it was searching for the deeper meaning in things. I challenged listeners to do the same with their film experiences.

But I was young, cocky and brass.I linked that account together with my personal accounts. People in my circle had no problems finding out that I was this online entity and that is when things got complicated. I had written a review for The Passion of Christ, Mel Gibson's little snuff film. It was one of my first reviews and boy,it was a doozy. Growing up under a very strict religious upbringing I know a thing or two about religion, faith and things of that sort. It was my opinion but the people who were in my circle got offended with what I wrote. Did they have reason to be? Was there ulterior motives for how they lashed out on me? Could I have just ignored them and do what I wanted?

Well..like it or not , sometimes we find ourselves influenced by what is around us.Sticking to your guns and forming your own independent thought sounds easier than it really is when your closest friends and pretty much everything you know is influencing your life. Sometimes good people get a little too zealous and impose their own opinions onto someone else. They might not realize they are judging you, they might not see it as imposing their own views on you, they might not even see it as nit picking and being intrusive by overstepping boundaries and intervening where intervention isn't merited.

Separating myself from people with imposing opinions took some time but I did it. The funny thing is, I still have my values, my morals, my beliefs and my faith. The way those people attacked me because I wrote a stupid review told me two things.1)Those people were overreacting big time. 2) I was not interested in having people nit pick my every move in my life. These people...are not representative of what is good as a whole and it's these "types" of people I now avoid. Maybe the same is for you, maybe you are in a circle where people want you to conform, where individual thought is frowned upon. In a country divided by politics, race ,even financial class...I'm sure at least someone out there reading this now is feeling the same way.

I gave Chris some advice, told him any decision he does to make sure it is what he wants to do and let nobody tell him he can't do something he is passionate about doing as long as deep down inside he knows what he is doing is ok with his conscience. for me? attaching my name to The Passion of the Christ review came back to bite me in the ass. I won't be attaching my name or face to anything ever because while I hate the way many of these people think, I still love them.

Am I hiding, am I a coward? I don't think so. Sometimes you can't fight every fight, sometimes you can't change people and sometimes you have to let people be and not go out of your way to offend them.

I know many of you wonder what the man looks like behind the voice. Maybe one day I'll show my face, maybe when I decide to give up being Fury of the Film Fan once and for all, for now, the message I deliver is more important than my thuggish good looks. Will I succeed? I think so...if not? at least I know I never held back saying the things I believed in.